25 and I

I understand that most people who read this blog (wishful thinking?) currently check the age box 25-39, 40-59, etc. Do not scoff at the following post. Hey the riper the berry the sweeter the juice right? Te he he he! I digress…

It has recently come to my attention that I will be turning the big 2-5 in less than a month. Yeah and what’s your point? I mean based on your lack of sleep and alcohol consumption you should be glad you made it this long sister. Pipe down. I know it’s not that big of a deal, but I really can’t get past the fact that what I imagined my life would be at 25 is NOTHING like what it actually is.

Job- FOR SURE I would have a job at the age of 25. Prior to deciding to go to law school I knew for sure I would have a job. No, not serving the filet of fish…jackass. Even when I went to law school I thought I would have something lined up post-grad. A cute southern girl that didn’t get kicked out of law school, who has never been to jail [knock on wood], who doesn’t require any routine medication and who can do a meeeeeaaaannn keg stand. What’s not to like? Apparently those qualities, coupled with my undergraduate and legal schooling don't mean shiz. I should have gone to clown school. Job-1, Taylor-0.

MONEY!!!!! I got hundred dollar bills y’all! Ya- this is a nightmare topic. I figured ok, at 25 you are basically 30 right? I would have a job, and thus money. Money not in the sense of thank sweet jesus the bills are paid halleluiah the lights won’t get turned off this month, but money like let’s take a VACATION. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. This is seriously not the case. I am so broke I feel like every single dollar bill I have mocks me. IN FACT- I went to the beach on Friday and paid with a 10 dollar bill for the 6 dollar parking. The machine gave me back 1 dollar coins. Seriously? Eff you Sacajawea. Needless to say sister won’t be making it rain any time soon.

Savings-

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A Gentleman Lovah- Ok well this one I pretty much have nailed down, but let me tell you the road to this point was a weeeeeeeeeee bit rocky- totally my fault. Law school is haaaaarrrrddd and it makes me cranky. Thankfully the bitch will not be back, sorry Elton, so I think babe and I are good. However, I thought I would be settled with my lovah by now. QUITE the opposite in fact. Brother is moving in and I am sure there is going to be a whole ‘lotta adjusting going on. This isn’t bad it’s just…not where I thought I would be. Don't get me wrong, in no way did I think I would be married  or be all fancy prancy around my big house with a white picket fence. I just thought I would be more settled? Thank God people in California can dig on Cowboy boots. Yeehaw!

So there you have it, my life in a nutshell. I have no job, I have barely enough money to survive monthly and savings is a foreign word. Tay don’t worry you have your entire life ahead of you! Yeah to pay off my debt and live like a frat boy. Ok seriously this pessimistic thing is getting old- there are starving children in Africa. Yeah, and I thought at this age I could actually help them. Sadly, I gots’ no monies. Now I’m seriously considering giving everything up and joining the ranks of shopping-cart all star. You seriously have a stick up your ass. What’s wrong with you? Alright, Alright at the end of the day I have a great apartment, a great education, and my gas, water and electricity are currently on. MOST importantly, I still have enough disposable income to invite my friend two buck chuck over. He understands my pain. Its official- you are a lost cause. Agreed.

25-1, Taylor-0.