H8RS

If you live in LA, or have ever visited in LA, you have probably noticed the abundance of personalized license plates. When I first moved I thought this was the most insane thing ever. Hey, check out lord douche over there with his license plate-“WINNR!” I just didn’t understand it. I am all for making a statement about yourself have ya read my blog but I didn’t understand the need to do it on your car. Doesn’t your actual car say enough about your? I mean come on LA, how flashy and look at me! look at me! do we really need to be? We already have the reputation of being a big bunch of over-tanned self indulgent biAtches. Do we really need to validate this image with our cars?

I carried this attitude with me for two and a half years until I decided to do some research was really bored at work, didn’t want to study and it was too early for a glass of wine. Not all people with personalized plates are AssHats right? There have to be some cool license plates… UM YES, THERE ARE. I give you, complete with analysis, license plates that receive the Taylor you aren’t a total douche stamp of approval!

1.       LYTESPD

I LOVE STAR WARS. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE STAR WARS. I mean COME ON people- how cool is that movie?!  May the force be with me….to put away all of my laundry with my mind; to tell my loud upstairs neighbor to stop vacuuming at 2am; to convince my professors I deserve all As. Yes, I realize that I am abusing the force- aka sister is on the dark side- and I’m ‘aaight with that. This license plate is the shit. I heart you Han Solo. My Star Wars plate? “LTESABR”

2.       HVABEER

Well, I don’t mind if I do!!! This person is cool. I mean ya, ok, any frat boy would want this license plate, but I bet this dude is awesome. How chill- just have a beer. Nothing about how he likes to N8LCHKS, or his LRGPNIS. Just beer. Granted, this guy could be a total redneck, but what’s wrong with that? Rednecks are F-U-N-N-Y! Hello, Jeff Foxworthy anyone?! To respond in kind, I would like “GLSOWNE” (get it, heh heh).

3.       RUB1OFF

Ok, this one is in no way appropriate, but it made me laugh…and then I thought- at least this guy is honest. He doesn’t play games. From the second you get into his car, you know what is on his mind. I mean, why hide the fact that you are a creeper? She is going to find out sooner or later, so why not just advertise it so you can find a lady who loves you for who you are. A creeper. That likes to rub1off. I salute this man for saving precious female time and energy.  My counter? “TOOTIRD”

4.       VIAGRA

Hugh Heffner you have met your match. Not only does this license plate send a clear message, just look at this dude’s car. RED corvette. This guy isn’t even hiding the fact that he has small man (or old man) syndrome. You gotta love a guy that can wear his stripes so proudly. My response? “HOTFLSH”

5.       I[heart]YRMOM

BAHAHAHAHAHA. I swear there is a 14 year old boy stuck inside me because I STILL  think mom jokes are hilarious. This character probably has a sense of humor, but he might also enjoy wearing too tight muscle shirts and drive around with a case of Natty light in the trunk. Back in ’79 I was the star of the team. I shoulda gone pro. Enter Napoleon Dynamite.  A for the laugh factor, F for the fact this dude is probably livin in the past.  “SXYCUGR” you know I will be [did you see the plate frame? BWAHHAHAHA!]

6.       OMGMOVE

I MUST MEET THIS PERSON IMMEDIATELY. I am not kidding. Hello kindred spirits!!! I have probably shaved, oh, about five YEARS off of my life stressing/yelling/howling at people, objects, animals in traffic. You seriously need to be on top of your shiz if you are driving in LA traffic. We have places to go and we have no time for nonsense. GET MOVING PEOPLE. See blog related to traffic.  This plate sums up my general feeling every time I hit the 405, the 101, or Ohio by my apartment. “FKNDRVE”

7.       1  - LEG 

This plate is a shout out to my one eyed counterpart. HOW GREAT IS THIS?!?!? With the handicapped plate too?!?!?!? I mean come on, I am impressed by this persons sense of humor… if they really have one leg. Or, actually, even if they don’t because that shiz is funny dude. Here here to being handicapped but still having a sense of humor. This person should meet Dot, I am sure they would be fast friends. “DOTRCKS”

Have a fabulous weekend. If I don’t have time to post until next week, HAPPY EASTER from Dot and I.