Oh blog, how I have missed you. I think of you often. Unfortunately, I have a case of the running around like a chicken sans head. Sigh. So… quick update.
1. I have a job(s). Thus why I am busy. I bounce back and forth between the two jobs like a crazy person. I am working and making money, so thou shall not complain.
2. I am still looking for work. What, wait? Right- so here’s the thing. I love my jobs, but they may or may not be permanent/ turn into salaried positions. Mama wants a salary, and preferably an office. So I figure while things are still pretty informal what’s the harm in looking around. Right? Right.
3. Dot is still alive and kicking. Yeah we weren’t worried about that. She is going to last longer than you will. Touche.
That’s whats going on here. I did, however, omit one tiny detail. I GOT MY GYM BACK!! Yes, this makes no sense. Allow me to explain. In April, much to my HORROR, my gym closed for renovations. Word on the street was that the new gym was going to be so nice and upscale that membership dues were going to increase upwards of $65 bucks a month.
[do you have any idea how many bottles of two buck chuck you can buy with that? 30. That’s a lot!!!]
Needless to say, I had to find another gym in the mean time. Enter Bally’s. Note: I apologize if anyone reading this works for Bally’s, loves their Bally’s or is offended by my comments. The thoughts and opinions in this article are the authors and the author’s alone. Law school ya’ll.
What's wrong with Bally’s? Ah, let me count the ways:
1. The machines were always broken. At one point HALF of the gym didn’t have power. Soommmeeeoooonnneee probably forgot to pay the electric bill. Well played Bally’s.
2. The pool was SKANKY. I mean go under the water with your goggles on and discover all sorts of horrors not limited to hair, fingernails and debris skanky. Thanks, but no thanks.
3. Shotty Construction. Ok seriously the weight room was on the 3rd floor of the building. I swear every time Chuck Norris dropped his barbell the ceiling was going to collapse. That sh*t will wake you up in the morning.
4. Class dues. Yes, you pay for the membership…but wait! There’s more! You had to pay additional fees for every single class. Riddle me this, if the power is out, the pool isn’t habitable and the building is older than father time, where the hell else are my dues going?
On the bright side, Bally’s did provide me a place to work out for a few months. The other day I decided I had enough, I wanted to go back to my former gym. I thought I’m a lawyer; I can negotiate my way to a better deal. This is horse shit- I will demand my membership at the old rate. Foolproof plan ya got there…
Monday, I went into the gym guns blazing.
T: I would like to speak to a manager.
M: I’m a manager, how can I help you?
T: I would like to discuss my membership with you. I was a member pre-renovation and I feel that raising my fee due to the new appearance and equipment is unconstitutional.
M: Ma’am, we…
T: Unconstitutional!!! This is CRUEL and UNUSUAL punishment. Also, this is a clear violation of my free exercise clause. I demand entrance to this facility!!
…unbeknownst to me, the manager had taken my membership card and swiped it. Turns out if you were a member at that gym pre-renovation you did in fact get to keep your membership at the reduced rate.
M: MA’AM.
T: Really? Raising your voice at me? HARASSMENT!!!
HARASSMENT I SAY!!
M: YOU ARE STILL A MEMBER, CHILL OUT.
T: Wait, what?
The nice man then went on to explain what I had yet to realize. Sh*t. I apologized profusely, blaming all of my pent up bar knowledge that was not actually tested on the bar thanks California. He shrugged it off as I swallowed my pride.
When I was little my dad told me I was going to be a great litigator. This is due to the fact that I found pleasure in arguing with various family members regarding the exact color of the sky. Well you know it’s not blue everywhere, it depends on the reflection of the molecules etc. Nooooow I get what he was talking about. Apparently the gym manager now agrees. Point Doug.
On a different note, the place is amazing. When I walked in I was struck with how different everything looked. But oh wait… what’s this? Towel service? Free bottled water? New machines? FLAT SCREENS on every machine? A sauna? Basketball court? FIFTY brand new spin bikes? I’ve heard of this place…. HEAVEN!!!! [insert huge smile]
Thankfully my little skirmish with the manager didn’t tarnish my reputation. However, when I checked in this am a different front desk attendant greeted me, “good morning counselor.”Damn. Oh well, you win some, you lose some. At least I have my gym back.
Until next time,
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